Yoga Teacher Column (5): My Students Are Improving, So Why Am I Becoming Anxious?

Sometimes the hardest thing to let go of is not a student relying on you,
but rather that the student no longer needs you

When some students make no progress,
you feel anxious.
Yet one day,
when a student truly advances,
you find yourself becoming anxious as well.

She stops asking you about every little thing,
starts forming her own discernment,
starts having her own perspectives,
begins to express different opinions,
and begins choosing her own path.
Then one day,
she even leaves your classroom.

Intellectually, you know:
this is a wonderful thing.
Is this not exactly what you have looked forward to?
Hoping students become independent,
hoping students believe in themselves,
hoping students live their own authentic lives.

Yet somewhere deep inside,
there is a faint sense of loss.
A subtle emptiness,
and even an unspoken sadness.

Then you begin to question yourself.
"Why do I feel this way?"
"Have I not always wished for her to grow?"
"Why does her actual growth make me feel so uncomfortable?"

What Lapis Light wants to say is:
if you have ever felt this way,
it is completely normal.
Because it simply means
you are human too.

Before entering the path of teaching,
many yoga teachers were already natural caretakers.
Gifted at understanding,
gifted at holding space,
gifted at being present.

Over time,
caring for others
gradually becomes a vital part of who you are,
even turning into your main source of significance.

When students need you, you have value.
When students trust you, you have value.
When students rely on you, you have value.

Thus, when students gradually gain independence,
that hidden part within you
begins to surface.

In the Lapis Light system, there is an essential observation:
many people derive their self worth
primarily from "being needed."

This happens not only to parents,
but also to teachers,
to healers,
to partners,
and even to friends.

Therefore, at times,
a student growth
is not merely the student graduation,
it is also the graduation of a certain role within the teacher.

Because that role of the constant caretaker
is beginning to lose its stage.

And in this very moment, life will ask you:
if no one needs you,
do you still love yourself?

This is a profound inquiry,
and the true spiritual practice for many companions of the soul.

Because mature teachers
will eventually come to understand.

A student progress
is never a loss,
it is a gift.

When she no longer hangs onto your every word,
it means she has begun to hear her own inner voice.

When she no longer relies on your judgment,
it means she has begun to trust her own feelings.

When she no longer constantly looks back to find you,
it means she now has the capacity to walk her own path.

And all of this
is the truest proof of a teacher success.

Lapis Light has always held that:
a truly extraordinary teacher
does not keep students staying forever,
but empowers students with the capability to leave.

Because dependence
cannot prove successful teaching.

Freedom,
on the other hand, does.

So when one day,
you find that a student has taken flight,
do not rush into sadness,
nor rush into self doubt.

Try looking at the light upon her:
that courage,
that stability,
that strength.

Perhaps a part of it
was nurtured into being by your quiet presence back then.

And your mission,
in fact, has already been fulfilled.

Lapis Light Concluding Words

One day,
you will discover:
the greatest teacher
is not someone remembered by students for a lifetime.
It is someone whose students, after leaving,
can still believe deeply in themselves.
Because true accompaniment
is not making someone need you,
it is giving someone
the ability to no longer need you.
And then,
carrying their own light,
they walk toward a farther horizon.