Table of Contents
In Different Relationships, Entirely Different Blind Spots and Responsibilities Emerge
by Elena | Founder of Lapis Light System
The Stance of Healers and Psychological Practitioners
In healing and counseling dynamics,
"empathy" or "perspective-taking" is often elevated as an indispensable skill.
Yet here lies a critical pitfall:
When you attempt to comprehend another entirely,
you easily tumble directly into their somatic structure.
Why Is This Dangerous?
Through the lens of Lapis Light, each person's emotions and reactions represent the mechanical functioning of a somatic structure. When a practitioner lacks the capacity to remain grounded in their own position, the following occurs:
- Getting swayed by the client's emotions (over-resonating)
- Compulsions to rescue, intervene, and fix them
- Inability to distinguish between "their experience" and "my state"
On the surface it looks like deep empathy, but fundamentally, boundaries have begun dissolving.
True Professionalism: Not Understanding More, but Grounding More Steadily
What a facilitator truly requires is not sharper analytical acumen, but more anchored somatic presence. That means: you can perceive their state without entering their turbulence; you can sense the energy without being carried away. This alone constitutes genuine support.
The Core Insight of Lapis Light Here
Healing is not dragging the other along; it is allowing them to witness themselves within your unwavering stability. When you return to your center, perspective-taking becomes unnecessary, because you no longer project yourself to comprehend them. You simply witness with crystal clarity: they are experiencing their structure. And this clarity is where real transmutation takes root.
The Employee's Perspective on the Employer
In the workplace,
the injunction to "put yourself in the boss's shoes" is endlessly repeated.
Yet the reality is:
most people simply cannot do so.
Because you do not possess the somatic structure of that position.
Why Does Understanding Become Distorted?
An owner's decisions are not merely intellectual calculations; they encompass:
- The capacity to endure relentless, chronic pressure
- Somatic physiological responses to immense risk
- An internal structure shaped by ultimate accountability
- Intuitive judgments honed through past crucible experiences
These capacities cannot be simulated through mere imagination. Thus employees frequently think: the boss is too timid or reckless; certain policies are illogical; "If it were me, I wouldn't do that." Yet in truth, that is merely a judgment formulated from your own vantage point.
What Should the Employee Do Instead?
The goal here is not forcing yourself to emulate the boss, but recognizing an empirical reality: you and they occupy fundamentally different structures. Once you see this, you naturally begin to: stop emotionally critiquing business decisions, cease clinging to moral righteousness, and gain lucidity regarding your own role. This stabilizes your energy and unlocks genuine competence in your position.
The Reminder of Lapis Light Here
True maturity is neither transforming into the boss nor forcing psychological empathy. It is standing solidly in your own role and returning to yourself. When you stop bleeding energy into judgment and internal friction, your vitality returns and your choices become clear.
Conclusion:
Whether in therapeutic or workplace relationships, the dilemma is never that you lack empathy. It is that you fail to honor the distinct structures each person inhabits. Attempting to leap across this divergence causes you to lose your center or indulge in judgment. But when you return to your place, you realize: you do not need to become them, nor explain them; you only need to exist stably in your own position.
Lapis Light